The Final Battle for the Civil War's Last Soldier!
(---it's a drama steeplechase set to music)
GET A-LONG MULE!!! TO THE SONG-RAGE OF THE YEAR! (original poster-all caps)
It'll eat you alive!
She's so swelegant... They phffft over her!
Two people, one road, many problems
Marjan, your love is killing me.
OUR FEDERAL UNION MUST AND SHALL BE PRESERVED! (original one-sheet poster)
AMBUSHED! WRECKED! WOUNDED!...BUT THE MAIL GOES THROUGH! (original poster)