14 WEEKS OF THROBBING THRILLS! WITH THE SERIAL THAT NEVER LETS YOU DOWN! (original ad - all caps)
THE ACE OF ALL G-MEN BATTLES DESPERATE CRIMINALS!
The Crown Prince of Howlarity crowns his career in the story of a palace rave-olution!
They did it without bricks, they did it without anger. They did it in drag.
A SENSATIONAL AND FASCINATING LOVE DRAMA IN FIVE PARTS (original poster - all caps)