THE NITWITS OF THE NETWORKS! (original poster - all caps)
The famous homosexual classic... is now a movie!
Ben Loy has a small problem, with his wife, his father and half of Chinatown.
She's learning to kiss... with a FRENCH ACCENT!
If you haven't made by the time you're 30, you never will! Ask anybody!
CASSIDY CRASHES THRU TO HIS GREATEST ADVENTURE! (original ad - all caps)
Rebellion scorched the enemy's mightiest...